


The Bitterest Loss

by Askeebe



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Best Friends, Enemies, F/M, Friends to Enemies, What Could Have Been
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 03:43:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4164438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Askeebe/pseuds/Askeebe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A spacer brat destined for greatness and a kid from the slums trying to find a way out. They couldn't be further apart, yet they became fast friends. But time and each individual decision pushed them further and further apart until there was only one way it could end. Slightly AU story of Shepard and Leng and what they could have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bitterest Loss

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not following the official ME wiki timeline for Shepard's early life. As far as I can tell, they didn't allot time for Academy training. Just boom, turn 18 and join the Alliance. So I changed it up and at 18, she and Leng both joined the Academy, similar to the Naval Academy and served 4 years there before being deployed and entering the N program.

The Academy gym was always busy in the evenings with cadets trying to get their workouts in between classes and dinner. It was especially bad at the beginning of the term when the new plebes were trying to figure out where everything was and generally making a mess of things. Granted, she was a plebe just last year, but she learned fast the best way to get what she needed.

Without wasting time, Shepard changed into exercise clothes and headed down a dim hallway to the boxing gym and ring. It was a relic from two generations ago, a gift from some Admiral who liked boxing and had left a substantial bequest upon his death. But subsequent bequests from other donors had gone to upgrade the workout rooms, the pool, and the outdoor fields. This old room had been left to limp along on a meager budget just big enough to supply new ropes and bags every few years. The lockers along the wall were dented and banged from the fists of numerous frustrated middies, and the concrete walls had more than a few gouges where the more angry middies had thrown bags, weights, and even benches in the heat of the moment. Ever since she'd been here, the lights occasionally flickered, and she didn't think the cleaning staff ever made their way back this far. It reeked of dust and old sweat.

As a result, it was chronically and criminally underused. A grin crossed her face as she dropped her bag on a bench by the wall. Just the way she liked it. There were a couple of guys in the ring now, and it looked like some sort of grudge match, but as long as no one needed a medic, she wouldn't interfere. The only other person in the gym was a guy in the back warming up on a punching bag.

She pulled some tape out of her bag and started wrapping her hands as she watched the pair in the ring. They were fairly evenly matched, both physically and in talent. Both had bloodied noses and one had a black eye. She studied their defenses and attacks with a critical eye. She was pretty sure she could take the blond guy easily. The other had solid defenses and a wicked right jab.

Finished with the tape, she started doing some warm ups while the brown haired guy started demolishing blondie's defenses. He landed a solid blow against blondie's chin, dropping him to the mat. The brown haired guy followed him down and started pounding his opponent into the mat.

This wasn't going to end well. Shepard couldn't stand by and do nothing. She rolled into the ring and grabbed the aggressor's arm to prevent him from landing another blow on his dazed opponent. "Stop it!" she yelled. The other middie shook her off and jumped to his feet, hand pulled back and cocked to punch. She put her hands up defensively and yelled at him. "I said stop!"

"Out of my way, runt. This asshole has it coming," the brown haired middie growled.

"Maybe. But not here and not now. Not while I'm watching. 'Honor, Courage, Commitment.' We both swore an oath, and I'm not going to let you keep pounding him when I can stop it."

"Out of my way, or I'll do the same to you!" Bloody spittle flew from his lips as he yelled. Behind his back, she saw the other guy in the gym move to the edge of the ring.

She grinned at the bully, a sharp smile, full of teeth and warning. "You're welcome to try."

Her opponent glanced around, saw the other guy watching and ready to intervene and stepped backward, letting his hands fall to his side. "Better watch your back, runt," he sneered as he dropped and rolled out of the ring.

"Asshole," she muttered as she turned back to see if blondie could get up himself. It took a minute, but eventually he was able to wobble out of the gym and back to more populous areas.

Adrenaline was still pumping through her blood, and she headed over to a sandbag to work off the edge. It was rocking under her blows and kicks, forcing her to move with it to get in a solid hit. Suddenly, the other guy appeared and held it steady between his hands. She grunted her thanks as she unleashed a flurry of punches at it.

When her shoulders and lungs started to burn, she stepped back and nodded her thanks as she put her hands on her knees to catch her breath.

"That was stupid," he said, now standing casually next to the hanging bag.

Shepard stared up at him in confusion. "Stupid? Why?"

He snorted in disgust. "He's determined to break that other guy. If he couldn't do it here, he'll find some other place. The guy might not survive his next attempt, and now you've made an enemy. Better just to let it play out and keep track of the asshole. It's easy enough to set his kind up for failure later on."

She drew herself upright to look at him. He was tall and lean with black hair in a regulation crew cut. His features were Asian, but that told her nothing about where he came from. "How do you know?" she demanded.

"Seen it often enough." He stepped back and took a couple of light shots at the sand bag.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He ignored her in favor of the bag, but she just kept staring at him, arms crossed over her chest. "Beijing. Slums," he finally added, gaze flicking toward her as if daring her to say something.

"Ah," she said as she studied him again. That actually made him more impressive in her mind. There was a lot of talk in the political sphere about how the Alliance recruited gunts from city slums, offering them a way out of the gangs, drugs, and poverty, and whether or not it was ethical. To find someone from the slums in the Academy spoke volumes about his determination to buck the easy way in favor of the hardest possible path but the one with the biggest reward.

"Ah," he mocked her.

"Doesn't matter," she told him. Eyes so dark they were nearly black glanced away from the bag to glance at her. She answered his unasked question. "Honor. If I'd stood by and done nothing, I'd be breaking my oath." He snorted and kept punching. "You don't agree?"

"Honor's for rich people," he said, emphasizing it with an extra hard punch. "Never could afford it."

"Then why're you here?"

"I want more."

"Ah."

A grunt was her only answer. Stepping up, she returned the favor and held the bag for him. "Name's Shepard. Jane." When he didn't answer, she prodded, "You?"

"Leng. Kai." He boxed until his forehead was beaded with sweat, then jerked his head toward the ring. "Wanna go a couple rounds?"

She quirked a lopsided grin at him. "Thought you'd never ask."

They stuck to light jabs, always pulling their punches. After a half hour or so, they were both covered in sweat and breathing hard. Finally Shepard held her hands up to call a break. Leng nodded agreement. She turned toward the ropes to get a drink when suddenly Leng swept her feet out from underneath her. She landed hard on her back with her breath whooshing out and leaving her seeing stars.

He stood over her and smirked. "You're too trusting, Shepard."

It took some doing, but eventually she managed to wheeze out, "Evidently." Leng held out a hand, and she eyed him suspiciously before she took it. This time, when she headed toward the edge of the ring, she made sure to keep him in her peripheral vision and that damned smirk never left his face.

Once she recovered her breath, she asked him, "So why the Academy instead of a merc gang. I know it had to have been hard to get in." She'd had the good fortune of being raised in the military and taught everything she needed to know about the entrance exams and what to expect, and it had still been a tough go to pass. She couldn't imagine how a kid from the slums could have managed it.

He stared at the far wall as he started stripping the tape from his hands. She followed suit. "My mother insisted."

Shepard couldn't help it. She laughed, drawing a glare from Leng. "Sorry. Sounds like my mother."

He huffed out a disparaging breath. "I highly doubt that."

Shepard got her laughter under control and shrugged. "Why's that?"

He scowled. "She's a bitch."

Her eyes widened in shock. Not what she had been expecting. "Oh?"

"Always on me to do something, make something of myself. Never stopped nagging. Swore she'd haunt me to the end of my days if I joined a merc gang." He shot her a wary glance to see if she would laugh again. When she didn't, he continued. "I half believe her." He balled up the tape and threw it into the waste can in a perfect shot.

Not to be outdone, Shepard did the same thing, grinning at him when it swished in. "Actually does kinda sound like my mom."

The corners of his lips drew up in a sneer. "Does she curse you with every other breath? Slap you and throw things at you? Take your credits to get high on sand then the next day swear she loves you and she'll never do it again, only to cave and do it again the next week anyway?"

Her grin disappeared. "No," she said in all seriousness. Never one to shy away from sating her curiosity, she asked, "If she's so bad, why bother doing what she wants?"

He shrugged. "She didn't get hooked on the sand until a couple years ago. Asari bitch sold her a bill of goods, promised her a way out, got her messed up instead."

"Sorry," she said.

He glared at her. "I don't want your pity."

She shrugged and stuck out her hand. "Fine by me. How about my friendship then?"

He stared at her as if she'd sprouted another head. "Friends?"

"Yeah. I'm sure you've heard of them. People that you want to hang out with, talk to, help out?"

"Why would I want to be friends with you?" He sounded curious instead of dismissive.

"Because it's boring to box alone?" When he still didn't move to take her hand, she tried again. "Besides, who else would be willing to let you teach them how to fight like they do on the streets and not get mad at you for dumping them on their back?" He still stared at her and she rolled her eyes. "You that much of a loner?"

Mutely, he shook his head, and then slowly reached out to clasp her hand. "How much you know about military history and advanced mathematics?" he asked.

A massive eye roll was his answer. "Please. I grew up as a military brat."

"A trade then," he said. "I'll show you how to deal with assholes like the one that was here, and you help me with the stuff I never had a chance to master before."

She grinned widely. "Deal."

They met twice weekly in the boxing ring after evening drills. He showed her every dirty move he knew from street fighting. During free periods, she tutored him in the areas where he was having trouble. He may have started with a disadvantage due to his background, but he was brilliant and with her help it didn't take him long to catch up. In the boxing ring, they progressed to grapples and throws, then they started practicing with knives. Under Kai's guidance, Shepard learned to check the shadows and never leave her back unprotected. Together, they scoped out the hidden and secret areas of the Academy buildings, places that even the instructors had forgotten about.

The bully from the boxing ring, Asher, made a minor nuisance of himself, but he was a year ahead of them, so their paths rarely intersected. Summer break saw Shepard and Leng assigned to the same cruiser for hands on training. Back in the Academy next fall, they fell effortlessly into the same routine. Where Leng had been on the cusp of failing out his first year, his instructors noticed his improved performance and pushed him even harder.

He ribbed Shepard mercilessly in their sparring practice about her being the golden girl. She just shrugged it off. It was true. The classes were all a breeze for her, and with her background, she knew exactly how to milk the system to get anything she wanted. Her charismatic personality was another plus. She was on the fast track for command, and everyone knew it.

She dragged Leng into her larger circle of friends, while Leng dragged her off campus on dares that he knew she couldn't resist.

It was near the end of their third year. Spring was in full bloom, literally. Shepard was still entranced with the riotous blooms that graced the Academy grounds, such a magnificent difference from the stark grey metal walls she had grown up with.

The sun was setting as she headed into the gym and made her way to the boxing gym in the back. She was a few minutes early and grabbed the tape to wrap her hands. The light from the hallway dimmed. "Bout time you got here, Kai," she ribbed as she glanced up, but the smile fell from her face as she saw Asher with two of his buddies stroll through the door. One of them stayed back and pulled it closed, then slid a length of steel through the handle, preventing it from being opened from the outside.

"Your pal's not gonna be able to help you tonight, Shepard." Asher's grin was cruel as he cracked his knuckles.

"What's your beef, Asher?" she asked as she glanced around the room. There was an emergency exit on the far side, but Asher's other buddy was already halfway there with another steel pipe in his hands.

"I don't forget, Shepard.

"Forget what, you idiot?"

He scowled and pounded one fist into the other. "You messed with me last year. I warned you then that you'd get what was coming to you."

She crossed her arms over her chest and stepped back with one leg, the very picture of cocky confidence. "You mean to tell me you're still stewing over that?" She snorted laughter. "That is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard."

He smiled cruelly. "Think of it as carrying through on a promise as I'm beating you unconscious."

"Hardly the mark of what the Alliance expects in its officers, pig."

"And you think you're hot shit, don't you, Shepard?" He spat on the floor. "I've heard about you. Everyone has. Been busy fucking your way into getting the primo assignments?"

She refused to let him bait her and grinned back at him. "Don't need to. Unlike you."

"Bitch," he snarled. "Let's see you get ahead without any teeth!"

Abandoning her casual pose, she put her hands up defensively and looked around for something to use. She grabbed an old folding chair and hurled it at him, but he just batted it out of the air while grinning in triumph. "Run and fight all you want, Shepard. You're no match for me."

"Keep thinking that, asshole," she jibed as she slid into the ring. At least up here, she could better keep an eye on his two cronies. She hoped they'd stay by the doors to keep anyone from coming in. That would give her better odds. Asher would be enough to worry about with his hulking build and longer reach.

He climbed into the ring and put his fists up. "Fitting, I guess. I'll pound you into oblivion in the same place you tried to save Gador last year." Then he charged forward.

For all his bulk, he moved surprisingly quickly, forcing Shepard to fall back and move in circles to avoid being hit. She got in a jab but so did he, and his carried a hell of a lot more force. She was going to have a monstrous black eye tomorrow, and if she didn't figure a way out of this quickly, she was going to suffer a lot worse. They traded blows a few more times, and even though she landed a couple, he landed more.

As Shepard was backpedaling away from Asher, she lost track of his cronies. A sudden movement near her feet made her look down, but it was too late to avoid the strike aimed at her leg. A solid piece of metal smashed into her shin

The pain was excruciating, and for a moment, she wondered if her leg was broken. She hobbled away and ducked Asher's next punch by a hairsbreadth. The thought dawned on her that this might actually turn out badly. Asher grinned maliciously as he slowly advanced on her. He deliberately gave her time to move away, showing her just how handicapped she was now. He was toying with her, drawing out the final attack.

He finally charged, and she fell back against the ropes, letting them provide the support that her leg couldn't as she tried to block his attacks. In spite of all the training she and Kai had done over the past year, he still managed to land a solid blow on her ribs, driving her breath out of her. Another one on her face had her seeing stars. It was all she could do to keep her fists up and block as much as she could. She couldn't spare any attention for what was happening around her, so when someone grabbed her feet and yanked her from the ring, she was completely taken by surprise. She landed hard on the concrete floor and automatically put her hand up in front of her face expecting a punch while she was down and defenseless. Instead, an open hand was thrust in front of her face. "Get up!"

She blinked as a lean face came into focus. "Kai?"

"Get up!" he growled again. Grabbing her hand, he yanked her to her feet and braced her against the ring post, then set himself at her side. She could see the feral grin on his face as he stared up at Asher, daring him to come at them.

Asher flicked a hand toward them for his buddy to join him. With Kai at her side, her injuries paled and she stood up taller. She laughed at Asher, knowing it would make him angry and reckless.

Asher jumped over the ring ropes to land on the floor and his cronie ran up next to him. The confused look on Asher's face was priceless when she followed his gaze back and saw his other buddy groaning on the floor in the back of the gym. Asher roared in anger and attacked.

Shepard kept her back to the ring post, and with Kai protecting her side, she was easily able to fend off Asher's attacks.

Between the two of them, they left Asher and his buddy lying moaning on the ground, although Shepard was willing to admit that Kai did most of the work. He had knack for slipping to the side and finding his opponent's weak spots, then attacking mercilessly. With his last attack on Asher's neck, Shepard wasn't altogether certain that permanent damage hadn't been done, but she wasn't about to shed a tear over it. Asher had it coming, and the Alliance would be better off without him in it.

"Come on," he said as he helped her hobble out of the gym's back door. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from groaning at every step. Kai guided her to a deserted corner of the campus where they were screened from any prying eyes by flowering shrubs. "Sit," he ordered as he hunted behind the tree for something.

Shepard would have narrowed her eyes when he brought out a camouflaged ammo case, but both eyes were already swollen nearly shut. He brought out a tube of medigel and started applying it to her face.

"Where'd you get that?" she mumbled. It was strictly against the rules for students to have medigel. The school wanted to make sure that they either toughened up or came to the infirmary if it was serious enough.

He gave her a withering glare for asking such a stupid question, and she shut up.

The medicine was cool and soothing on her cheeks as he smoothed it on. She was in no position to argue morals with him when he had just saved her from having to explain two black eyes in the morning, as well as an embarrassing and damaging beat down by Asher. She reached up and caught his hand in hers, stopping him and making him look at her. "Thanks, Kai," she said softly.

He didn't say anything in return, but simply finished applying the medigel.

"How'd you get in?"

"Mechanical access." At her puzzled look, he sighed at her continued naiveté. "Did you think the doors were the only way in and out of the room? You still have a lot to learn, Jane."

"Apparently," she admitted, feeling like a chump. She hated the thought of being rescued, even if it was by her best friend. He handed her the tube to use on her shin, which was already turning a spectacularly sick shade of purple.

Within thirty minute, she was able to walk unassisted, and the bruising on her face was almost gone.

As the days went by, she waited to see if there would be any fallout from their fight with Asher, but nothing ever happened. Scuttlebutt started to circulate that he'd flunked out, but details were impossible to come by. At least, it was for Shepard.

"He's out," Kai said without fanfare when she met him in the gym.

"How do you know?"

He gave her a disparaging look.

"Oh for pete's sake. You hacked the damn school terminals? You're holding back on me, Leng."

A sly grin was his response. "You never asked me to show you."

She punched him in the shoulder, and the only reason she connected was that he let her. "Okay, so now I'm asking."

He feinted back. "What can you offer in return?"

"My undying friendship?"

He snorted. "Based on how well you did against Asher, I wouldn't bet too heavily on your longevity."

"Ass," she muttered and jabbed a little quicker, but he just ducked out of the way.

"Help me get your connections," he said as he started sparring against her. "I want in the N program, and you need sponsorship for that."

She nodded as she danced away to avoid a grapple that would have had her on the mat. "Deal."

That summer they were assigned separate ships and duties. As expected, Shepard was slotted into a command path. Kai didn't tell her what he worked on during the summer. As an uncredited extracurricular activity, she studied intensively the private data disc he'd given her on how to crack into secure systems.

Their last year in the Academy was busier than ever. In addition to the regular regimen of classes and physical conditioning, Shepard made use of her contacts and turned on the charm with the instructors and administration. She accepted numerous invitations to social gatherings, both public and private. She also made sure Kai was invited, at first as her companion, and then as his social skills grew, he managed to secure the invitations on his own.

At the graduation ceremony, her mom showed up. His didn't. He didn't say anything, but she felt his anger and embarrassment even if it was carefully buried when she introduced him to her mother.

Going their separate ways was hard. She was used to telling him the various problems and irks she had and listening to his unconventional suggestions for fixing them. They emailed frequently, but it wasn't the same.

She got into the N program and gave thanks to Kai several times for the unorthodox insights he'd taught her for problem solving. He entered the N program the following year. As often as their schedule and leave combined, they tried to meet up.

The next year, he sent her a brief note. She pulled every string she could and met him in Beijing.

"I'm sorry, Kai," she said as she walked into the cramped and filthy apartment where he stood staring at the mountain of detritus on the floor. His hair had grown since she'd seen him last, and he'd filled out from the ultra-lean 22 year old he'd been when they graduated the Academy.

As she walked forward, empty plastic packets, smaller than her palm, crunched under her boots. She pressed her lips together in distaste and sighed.

"Well, at least I know what she did with the credits I sent her." His voice was flat and emotionless, but she knew that only meant he was suppressing, not that he wasn't feeling anything.

Shepard moved to stand at his side. "Where is she?"

"They already took her. I'm surprised the place hasn't been stripped yet."

Shepard looked around at the room. It was a tiny studio apartment with a half-size cooler and miniscule heater unit that tried to pass as a kitchen. The couch obviously served as a bed with a frayed and worn blanket draped haphazardly across one filthy arm. Stacks of cheap novels and cheaper knick knacks were scattered around the room. "You been through this yet?" she asked, even though she knew the answer.

"There's nothing for me here," he said in the same flat tone.

Taking a step forward, she knelt gingerly on the floor, avoiding an old, dried stain of something unidentifiable. She thought she saw something and moved trash around until she came up with a single print picture. In it, a young and pretty woman with a small, round face and long black hair held a young boy of ten or twelve in her lap. He grinned at the camera and had both skinny arms latched around her neck. She was smiling at him, and Shepard could see the obvious love in her eyes. Standing up, she held it out to Kai wordlessly.

His glanced at it, then stared back at the empty gray wall. When he made no move to take it, she sighed and tucked it into her pocket. When he kept standing there, she eventually started to explore the place on her own. Aside from the one buried picture, there was almost nothing left to tell of a life lived before drugs took over. The cheap crap in the apartment came from an online shopping channel, most likely purchased when the marketing preyed on the loss of sensibility from the drugs and it became the must-have item of the moment. Her heart ached for her friend. She knew he struggled with his mother's downfall and blamed the asari pusher for getting her hooked.

She poked at more crap on the dirty counter then gave up. "I wish there was something I could do to help, Kai."

Finally, he glanced over at her. "There is." She nodded for him to go on. "I'm gonna kill her. I could use some backup."

"Kai!"

"Don't tell me I can't, Jane!" he cut her off. "She'd still be alive today if it wasn't for that bitch. She might be more like your mother," he added, biting off the words.

She shut her mouth with a snap.  _There but for the grace of God go I_ , she thought to herself. Still, she couldn't bring herself to agree. "Kai, you're talking murder."

"What's more important to you, Jane?" he asked. "Honor or friendship?"

She came around to face him. "That's a low blow."

"No, it's a simple question," he said. "You offered me undying friendship once. Did you mean it? Or are you just another fair-weather friend?"

Her shoulders slumped. He was her best friend, and if she couldn't stand by him when he needed her most, she didn't deserve his friendship. "Fine," she said reluctantly. "But I'm not killing in cold blood." She stared him down. "You want vengeance, you take care of that part yourself. I'll watch your back."

"Deal," he said with a nod. Reaching into his jacket, he handed her a small caliber pistol. Glancing at the grip, she saw the serial number had been filed off. "Let's go."

He walked out without bothering to close and lock the door. "Kai?"

He glanced back once. "Let them have it."

Her morals took a hit that day, but she stayed by his side until it was done. Afterward, she took care of getting them both back to civilized space and their assignments. Just before she had to board her shuttle off Earth, he pulled her into a rough hug. "I owe you, Jane," he whispered, then stalked off to find his own shuttle.

The first time a guy broke her heart, he showed up with a six-pack and an offer to break his kneecaps. She wasn't entirely sure he was joking. As for Kai, the few times he ever mentioned anyone, it was always casual. Half the time, he said he couldn't remember their names.

He was there at her N7 commissioning ceremony. A year later, she was at his. They didn't email as frequently as they used to, but they both made the effort to meet up as often as they could, even if it was just to share a couple of beers during a mutual layover. Her missions brought her in contact with the diplomatic corps and alien military officers. His missions often involved wetwork against aliens. Her missions were used as recruiting promos back on Earth. It took a few drinks and a couple of hours before he was willing to discuss his.

They managed to arrange their schedules to overlap for a three day layover at the Citadel. "My treat," she told him as they walked up to a fancy restaurant. "Show me," she demanded when they were seated. Rolling his eyes in a show of mock annoyance, he pulled the blue velvet box out of his jacket pocket.

"Oooh, pretty," she said as she opened it and fingered the shining star hanging from the blue ribbon. "A Medal of Valor all your very own," she teased. "About time you caught up with me."

He snapped the box shut, trying to catch her fingers in it. An old game, and she had learned his lessons well, so her fingers were nowhere near the box when he tried. They smiled at each other, unspoken words at the old memories the action provoked.

"Not all of us live our lives in the spotlight," he said.

"What can I say? I'm photogenic to the extreme." She posed playfully for him. "Don't hate me because I'm deadly," she said in a falsetto.

"Hardly," he scoffed to burst her bubble. "You've been running rescue missions. Hard to see how you got a Medal of Valor for that."

She winked. "Because I set everything up ahead of time so that the batarians couldn't even get close to the system until we had everyone out. Left them a few surprises for when they arrived, too. Thanks to my devious mentor for suggesting all the various ways to plant a gotcha with a bomb."

A turian waiter came up to take their order. Kai scowled at her. "I thought this was a human place you were taking me to."

Returning his scowl right back at him she said, "It's a good place. They serve everyone here."

"Then I don't want to eat here."

"Kai!" she said in exasperation as he stood up.

"No, Jane. You know how I feel."

"It's just dinner," she tried.

He didn't answer, just stomped away.

"Kai," she tried again as she followed him with an embarrassed glance to the waiter. She put some credits down to cover the cost of the table and followed her friend out. "You're being an ass," she said as she jogged to catch up with him.

He gave her a sidelong glare as he kept walking. "If you'd seen what I have, you wouldn't say that.

"You might try explaining it to me," she said in exasperation. "Kai, wait!" She reached out to grab his arm and pull him around to a stop.

He slumped against the wall. "This was a mistake, Jane. I haven't acclimated back to society yet after this last mission."

She tucked her arm through his, ignoring his initial instinct to pull away. "So screw the fancy food. Let's grab some ramen and beers and you can shock me with your last mission brief that I'm not supposed to know about."

He looked askance at her. "Been digging where you're not supposed to be, Jane? That's my job."

"What can I say? You corrupted me."

"Come on. Since I ruined your fancy dinner, I'll spot you for ramen."

"Ooh, big spender," she teased.

He was tense through dinner. He even refused to have more than two beers. "What's up?" she asked. "Staying on duty even when you're off?"

He shrugged nonchalantly.

"Talk to me, Kai," she urged. "We've always been able to talk about anything."

He shook his head and stared off into the busy corridor outside. She didn't miss the way his shoulders tensed up when a group of krogans stormed past, shoving everyone out of their way. "They're just a bunch of animals," he disparaged as he looked back at her.

"The krogan? Yeah, they're a pain, but don't you think calling them animals is going a bit too far?"

He banged his bottle down on the table so hard that the last bit in the bottom was jolted out.

"You haven't see what I have, Jane," he emphasized again. "I just got back from..."

"From...?" she prodded as gently as she could.

"Classified," he huffed and slumped back in his chair.

She gave him a skeptical look. "From me?"

"Even you," he confirmed tonelessly, still staring out into the corridor.

"So tell me what you can." An old trick they were both familiar with now. Dancing around the issue, talking about the problems without naming specifics. It got around the email censors, and it would certainly work in person.

"I did. They're animals." He pulled out his service knife and used it to trim his nails. From the way his eyes narrowed whenever an alien passed the entrance to the ramen shop, she deduced he was thinking about other ways to employ his knife.

She sighed and finished off the last of her beer. "Look, Kai, if you need to go blow off some steam tonight, that's cool with me. You want to go find someone to spend the night with, we can meet up tomorrow. Catch a movie, do some target practice.

"No. Maybe," he said after a moment and evading her gaze.

She nudged his chair with her foot. "Hey, I've read all the psych articles about black ops, even if I don't get assigned to them myself. Go on. I'll catch you tomorrow."

Finally a smile touched his thin lips, but it was fleeting and gone as fast as it appeared. "Tomorrow. I'll bring coffee."

She grinned at him. "You'd better, you bum."

He was up and out the door in an instant. Even as he disappeared effortlessly into the crowd, she could still sense the tension emanating from him. Hopefully, he'd find a decent outlet for it tonight and be more willing to hang out tomorrow. Meanwhile, the night was still young, and she wasn't about to turn in early just because her friend had bailed. The Citadel was ripe with possibilities.

She ended up kicking her partner out of bed around two a.m. Knowing Kai, he was just as likely to hack the hotel security and actually show up in her room with a cup of coffee, and she didn't want to have to deal with explaining that to a stranger, no matter how good looking they were.

An urgent call woke her far too early from pleasant dreams about earlier that evening. The call came from C-sec, and she frowned in the darkness as she answered. A minute later, she was cursing vociferously as she threw on her uniform.

"Kai, what the hell did you do?" she demanded as she pushed her way past the turian C-sec guard at the door. Her friend looked like hell. His face was a puffy mass of bruises and there was a makeshift sling on his left arm. He was still in his civilian clothes from last night, but they were ripped and covered in blood. In spite of his injuries, the other N7 was sitting calm and erect on the fold down seat in the cell with a force barrier between them. "Take this down," she ordered the turian in her best command voice.

It didn't work. "Field stays up until the Alliance comes to get him," the turian responded.

"What? I'm giving you an order to take that down," she snapped.

"You humans don't listen too well, do you? Told you it stays up until your Alliance comes." The turian turned his back on her and disappeared back into the main room, leaving her staring helplessly at Kai.

"What did you do?" she asked again, this time with a sense of absolute confusion.

She could have sworn that in spite of everything, there was a smug look of satisfaction underneath all the bruising on his face. "Something that needed to be done."

"Kai, why is the Alliance coming for you?" she asked, now very worried.

"Killed a krogan last night," he told her. No, he was boasting.

"Christ, Kai! When I told you to go blow off some steam, I meant go have sex. Not kill a krogan!" She paced back and forth in front of his cell. "So he must have attacked first. That's how they are," she started, trying to find an excuse for why he was in here.

"No, Jane," he stopped her.

Her eyes widened as she stared at him. "You attacked first?"

"He deserved it."

"Why?" she asked again. She was floundering, trying to make sense of how and why her best friend was now sitting in lockup for murder.

Kai huffed out a bitter laugh. "Because it's a fucking krogan, that's why. You know how they are."

"There must be a mistake," she tried, but he cut her off.

"No mistake, Jane. I killed him. With nothing more than my knife." He was definitely boasting now.

"Oh, Kai," she muttered as she slumped against the solid portion of the wall. "What the hell? You'll get kicked out for this."

He was remarkably unconcerned. "The Alliance and I have been going our separate ways for a while now, Jane. Consider this my resignation."

"How can you joke about this?" she yelled at him. "This isn't pranking a senior officer. This is fucking murder, Kai!"

His eyes narrowed as he leaned forward on his seat. "It was an animal, Jane. All I did was put it down like the rabid thing it was."

She put her back to the wall and ground her palms into her eyes in frustration. "If that's the case, there's nothing I can do to help you."

When his answer came, it was like a stab in the back. "I never asked for your help." His voice was hauntingly gentle as he added, "Go be the Alliance's hero, Jane. We both know that's what you're fated to be."

She pushed away from the wall and turned to stare at him. He returned her look, never blinking as they took each other's measure. She felt like she was seeing him anew. Underneath the bruising, there were hardened lines that hadn't been there the last time she'd seen him. His attitude last night and the phrasing in his last few emails took on a new significance that she hadn't paid attention to before. Still, he was her best friend. They'd always been there for each other, and she couldn't just abandon him now. "I'll make some calls, see what I can do for you."

He shook his head sharply. "No, Jane. Don't get involved. I'll manage on my own."

She stared at him appraisingly. "What do you have planned?"

He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. "Better you don't know. Goodbye, Jane."

She stared a moment longer, then with hands clenched into fists, she turned and walked away. He was right. There was nothing she could do for him any longer.

A few weeks later, she was summoned back to Earth for an investigation. She spent an annoying week being interrogated about her relationship with Kai and whether or not she had anything to do with his escape from Alliance custody. She wasn't surprised in the least that he had escaped. When she found out his rescuer was Cerberus, she was more saddened than shocked. Her best friend had defected to a xenophobic terrorist group, and there was nothing she could do to bring him back.

For more than a year, the shadow of his defection and their friendship hung over her like an accusing cloud. She threw herself into her work, more determined than ever to prove that she was nothing like Kai. Upper brass noticed and assigned her to more and more difficult and prestigious missions.

Every once in a while, she would get a message. Always from an untraceable origin and never signed, but she knew who sent them. It might be congratulations on her latest success, or it might be a well-reasoned refutation of Alliance policies that pointed out how hamstrung humanity was in this new galactic age. He wanted her to respond, to prove that he was wrong. It was a subtle recruitment method, but she refused to get caught up in it. Her career was soaring, and she knew in her heart that she was doing the right thing.

Even though she was constantly busy with her assignments, she kept tabs on what Cerberus was doing. They were growing in influence and strength, and their acts were becoming more and more brazen, but always skirting the edge of what was truly illegal. Kai's name was brought up on occasion as one of Cerberus' top agents, and speculation was rampant as to his involvement in assassinations and other seditious acts that could never be pinned directly on Cerberus, even though evidence suggested they were behind them.

Rumor filtered through the grapevine that a team had been dispatched to bring Kai in. The grapevine really lit up when the N7 tasked to lead the team was returned in pieces.

Shepard stopped replying to his messages and pushed herself even harder. She doubted the brass would send her against him given their past history, but she would take no chances. She remembered how sneaky and ruthless Kai had been and knew that he would be even more so now.

Elysium happened. It was the final point in her favor when the Alliance was finally given the opportunity to appoint the first human Spectre. Her first recruit was an alien - a turian. Her second was a krogan. Then a quarian joined her crew. In the privacy of her own cabin, she sometimes laughed bitterly at the irony. Whenever she came across one of Cerberus' operations, she shut it down with extreme prejudice, never disclosing to her new teammates the reason why she hated Cerberus so much.

Now called the Savior of the Citadel, Shepard publicly praised the teamwork and diversity of her crew and campaigned vigorously about how the same thing would be needed at the galactic level to win the upcoming Reaper war. She campaigned so long and hard that she became a thorn in the Alliance's side. As a reward, she was sent to the Terminus systems to investigate the 'geth threat'. She was being sidelined and it made her angry, but being a good soldier, she complied with her orders.

A month later, she died.

* * *

"You shouldn't' be here, Leng."

He stared at Operative Lawson with cold, emotionless eyes. It was a look that frequently had people quailing and falling over themselves to appease him. She considered herself his equal in Cerberus, however, and didn't flinch.

"I need to see her." Without waiting for an answer, he pushed past her and into the operating room where Jane had been the sole focus of Project Lazarus for almost two years. He stopped and marveled at Miranda's handiwork. He didn't care for Lawson personally, but there was no denying her genius.

The last time he'd been here, the mangled corpse on the table had barely been recognizable as his friend. Now she looked like the princess from Sleeping Beauty, except in a hospital gown instead of a frilly dress. The thought almost made him smile. Jane hated frilly things.

She was breathing on her own now, and he was surprised how relieved he felt now that the breathing tube was gone. He brushed his fingers along her auburn hair. It had grown out a few inches from where Miranda had initially shaved her head. Her skin had almost completely regrown. Instead of grotesque open sores exposing muscle and bone, the only sign of major trauma were the numerous scars that sometimes glowed red as the cybernetics pulsed.

"How much longer?" he asked without looking away.

Miranda's heels clicked loudly on the tile floor as she walked up next to him. On the other side of the hospital bed, an obnoxious bald man was projecting an air of annoyance at the interruption. Leng ignored him.

"Soon." They stared at the motionless body in front of them. "The Lazarus tech has reanimated her cells, and we've seen steadily increasing brain activity over the past two weeks. We've finished the enhancements to her biotics and body. Now we're just waiting for her body to finish adjusting to the new tech." He felt her turn to stare at him. "Are you sure you collected everything from her apartment?"

His brusque answer was "Yes."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her frown. "Her Star of Terra from Elysium is missing. I wanted to use it to jog her memories in case we have problems."

Before Miranda could question him further, alarms started beeping and the bald man called out, "Miranda, we've got a problem!"

Miranda shoved him away from the table. "Get out of here. We can't risk her seeing you at this point!"

Kai fell back against the wall, strangely uncertain. He wanted to see her, to see if she remembered him, but he didn't want to jeopardize her recovery.

"My god, Miranda, I think she's waking up." The bald man was typing feverishly as he attempted to put things to rights.

Miranda gestured imperiously for him to leave. Jane's body was shaking and convulsing, and her eyes opened wide. Kai slipped through the doors and watched through the observation window. "Damnit, Wilson, she's not ready yet. Give her the sedative." Miranda grabbed Jane's hand and told her to relax.

"Her brain activity is off the charts." The bald man's words were faint through the glass as he carried out Miranda's orders.

Soon, Jane's body relaxed, and she stared up at Miranda hovering over her. Kai couldn't tell if there was any trace of comprehension in her gaze. Miranda studied her for a long second before turning away and snapping at her assistant, "I told you your estimates were off. Run them again." Kai watched as Jane's eyes fluttered shut.

He turned to head back to his ship. He had one more stop to make.

The Normandy SR2 gleamed brightly under the intense lights of the shipyard. The ship's AI recognized him and passed him through the airlock. He made his way through the ship, ignoring the curious glances from crew and dockworkers alike. The ship was nearly complete, just like its intended Commander. For a moment, he wondered at the Illusive Man's wisdom in pouring billions of credits into both Jane and the Normandy. He had made his case that he could handle the Collectors, but the Illusive Man had only finished his cigarette and said that he had other plans for Kai.

He stopped inside the entrance to the Loft. It was a luxurious cabin, something that would look more at home in a private luxury yacht than a military vessel. He scanned the room, noting how it was designed to put the occupant at ease and make them think favorably of Cerberus. He didn't think Jane would be so easily swayed.

He needed someplace where Miranda wouldn't think to look, but Jane would. The armor locker was perfect. He knew it would be one of the first things Jane would investigate. Even better, it was already stocked with new armor for her, so there should be no reason for anyone to disturb it before she arrived. For a moment, he let his fingers rest on the N7 insignia. He knew how much it meant to Jane. It had meant nearly as much to him, but in the end, the Alliance had failed him. He couldn't pledge his loyalty to such an outdated and weak institution. Fortunately, there were other options, and his new employer's values matched his own.

He pulled a small, flat box from his pocket and placed it underneath the armor greaves. She would find it soon enough. Now it was time to do the Illusive Man's bidding.

* * *

Shepard was furious, as well as confused, terrified, and depressed. She'd held it together as long as she could until finally she could make her escape from Miranda's overbearing attitude.

Now she stood in her new cabin and didn't know what to think. It was enormous for a small frigate like the Normandy and nothing at all like the utilitarian military quarters she was used to. She sank onto the bed and ran her hand over the luxurious bed coverings and was suddenly overcome with more fury toward Cerberus. They were trying to buy her loyalty. The Illusive Man had given her an entire damned ship. Did he really need to make her personal quarters so obviously part of the bribe?

She sat for a while until she calmed down, then began exploring her new cabin. The first place she opened was the armor locker and seeing her N7 armor brought a soft smile to her lips. At least he hadn't tried to put her in Cerberus armor. A slight irregularity in the placement of the armor pieces on the shelf drew her attention, and she moved them to the side.

At the sight of a small, flat box, her eyes opened wide, and she reached out cautiously to take it. Even before she opened it, she knew exactly what it was. Opening it up, she saw her Star of Terra, awarded for meritorious service and bravery for the protection of the citizens of Elysium. Underneath it was a handwritten note.

 

_Jane,_

_I saved this for you. Miranda wanted it, but I know how much it means to you. We were friends once. We still can be. We have the same goals, and our methods aren't so very different. We're on the same side now. Let's talk._

_Kai_

 

She traced the words with her fingertips. He had written this. He had been here in her cabin and left this for her. She had dismissed Cerberus as a simple terrorist organization earlier, but obviously, it was much bigger and more complex than she had realized. Maybe she owed Kai that talk.

It was months before she could make it happen, and she was still uncertain when she went aboard the Citadel. After so long with Miranda and Jacob and talking with Garrus about his time as Archangel, she was reluctantly starting to think that maybe Cerberus and the Illusive Man weren't entirely wrong, and that was disturbing her fundamental world view. It kept her up nights pondering right and wrong.

She made her way to a bar at the far end of Kithoi Ward. The whole section was an obvious human stronghold, and the few aliens she saw looked uncomfortable. She scanned the back of the dimly lit bar, knowing that he would seek out the shadows. Even so, she still startled when he appeared by her side, although she did her best to hide it.

"Jane. I'm glad you came." He touched her elbow, just enough to guide her to the back corner and an empty table. An untouched beer sat in front of one chair. She took the other one and stopped him when he would have ordered something for her. For a long time, they simply sat and looked at one another.

His hair was longer now, hanging almost down to his shoulders and the front sections pulled back and secured into a tail. There were cybernetic implants around his eyes, probably to hold goggles although they were missing at the moment. He was wearing black, unmarked armor with a pistol and a short sword at his hip. There was an indefinable hardening of his features. When she first met him in the Academy, he had been serious and slow to smile, but she could usually tease one out of him. Now it felt like all the humor had been bled out of him, leaving only a hardened killer behind.

She knew what he'd been doing. He hadn't been the only one to benefit from their friendship. Thanks to him, she had managed to hack her way into some of Cerberus' databases. She didn't know everything yet, but she knew he was in charge of their Phantom corps and that he was the Illusive Man's number one pick for wetwork. Strangely, that thought didn't bother her as much as she thought it should. She knew he'd done the same for the Alliance.

What did he see in her now, she wondered? She wasn't the same naive girl he'd first met. Time, death, and the Alliance's betrayal of all she had fought for had taken their toll on her. She rested her forearms on the table and leaned forward. "Been a long time, Kai," she finally said.

"I'm glad you're here."

Here in the bar? Here with Cerberus? That she was alive again? She wasn't entirely sure. She couldn't read him like she used to. "You wanted to talk," she finally said, leaving the course of conversation up to him.

"What do you think of Cerberus now?"

Straight to the point, as always. She let out her breath in a long, slow exhale. "It's complicated," she admitted.

"No, it's not. Our goal is to save humanity. It always has been. You're leading our biggest offensive on that front. You see it now, don't you, Jane?"

She didn't want to meet his eyes and stared at a group of rowdy drinkers across the room. She had them pegged as low-rent mercs. Still looking at them, she answered, "I see an organization with a lot of money trying to legitimize their extralegal activities and strong arm tactics. It's always the same question, Kai. Do the ends justify the means?"

"The ends is the survival of humanity, Jane. If you aren't successful...if Cerberus isn't successful, there won't be anyone left to debate the merits of what we do."

"Cerberus wants more than mere survival, though, doesn't it? Their goal is to be on top. They want the galaxy to answer to humanity." Now she did look back at him. "That's never going to work, Kai. Can't you see that? Humanity has a Council seat now. We're part of the established government. We have a voice."

"One voice among many."

"It's what everyone else has," she argued. "What makes you think that's going to change?"

"Cerberus is strong. The Illusive Man has a vision..."

"The Alliance is strong, Kai!"

"They're weak!" he shot back. When she would have argued, he cut her off. "They refuse to see what's coming. When you tried to tell them, what did they do? They sent you on a useless mission that led to your death. And after that, they ignored your warning even as they left your body to rot on that frozen hellhole. They  _buried_ you, Jane. In every possible way! The Alliance you're trying to protect is nothing more than a bunch of risk-averse pencil pushers out to grab as much individual power for themselves as they can!"

Her hands clenched so hard the knuckles turned white and glared down at the table. She didn't care that Kai saw it.

He knew he'd struck a nerve and pressed forward. "You and I know the danger. The Illusive Man has known about it for years. He's willing to take the risks the Alliance is afraid of. With both of us at his side, he'll be able to seize the advantage when the Reapers show up. In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity."

She shook her head. "Cerberus wants to subjugate all the other races out there to humanity. Putting aside the fact that it won't ever work, it's morally wrong."

His eyes narrowed. "What we're talking about is beyond good and evil, Jane. You have to be strong enough to throw off the shackles of artificial morality that the Alliance has tried to impose on you."

"Don't quote Nietzsche at me," she snapped. "Morality isn't just a construct."

"Open your eyes, Jane," he said derisively. "Morality is used to motivate or pacify the masses. It doesn't apply to people like us."

"Us? You seriously think I'm like you? I want everyone to survive, Kai. I think humanity is richer for our interactions with aliens."

"I'm not disagreeing with you. We've learned a lot from them, but there's no need for us to bow and scrape to them anymore."

"So what? We just use them and discard them?"

"Exactly." He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms.

She stared at him, but in her mind's eye, she was seeing the members of her crew. Garrus, who'd been with her through hell and volunteered to walk into it again. Tali and Liara, both good friends. Grunt and Wrex had taught her that there was more to the krogan race than raw brutality. And when she thought of Thane and the way his voice sounded when he called her siha, her stomach did a little flip. There was no way she could consider using them so callously. "I can't, Kai. My crew..."

"Is expendable. You know that, Jane."

Her eyebrows drew together in an angry frown as she looked at him. "Expendable, if absolutely necessary. That doesn't mean I'm going to carelessly throw them away."

He leaned forward to impress on her the seriousness of his words. "Jane, don't get caught up in this galactic political bullshit. You know what I'm saying is the truth. You're human. We have to make sure humanity comes first, no matter what."

She pushed back in her chair, shaking her head in rejection. "No, Kai. You're going too far. I may be working with Cerberus to save the colonies, but that doesn't mean I accept what you stand for. Those aliens on my ship are more than my crew. They're my friends."

He stared back at her in growing disbelief. "You really do care for them, don't you? I thought you were just playing politics. I thought you were smarter than that."

Somehow they were on their feet glaring at each other with the small table between them. The corners of her lips curled up in a sneer. "And I had hoped that you were just tired of playing by the rules, and that's why you went to Cerberus. I was hoping that you didn't join because you really believed their racist bullshit, but I guess I was wrong."

"We're on the same side."

"I'll do my damned mission, just like the Illusive Man wants, but after that my debt is squared. He doesn't own me. Unlike you," she finished hotly.

His lips were compressed together in anger. "He doesn't own me."

"That's not how it looks to me."

"I see I was wrong about you, Jane."

"I'll never be like you, Kai.

He took a step away and paused. "Don't cross me, Jane."

She put her hand on her hip, conspicuously close to her pistol in an unmistakable message. "Stay away from me, Kai."

He gave her one more measuring look, then turned to stalk out of the bar.

She was somewhat surprised to feel her pulse thudding in her throat. She did not relish the thought of going up against Kai anytime in the future, but she forced herself to push the idea away. Odds were she'd never survive the Collector mission anyway.

But she did. What's more, her entire crew survived with her.

Along the way, a certain drell assassin captured her heart, and in spite of everything, she was happier than she'd ever been in her entire life. Her bliss lasted exactly one month before the Alliance ordered her to turn herself in for collaborating with Cerberus.

She was so close to ignoring the order. Kai's words echoed in her thoughts, calling the Alliance weak and accusing them of betraying her. Again. But Thane cupped her face in his hands and told her to be true to herself. In spite of everything, she was a soldier. She had sworn an oath, and unlike Kai, she wouldn't turn her back on it just because she disagreed with them.

Her mail was censored, and she raised holy hell about it. She knew Thane, Garrus, Liara, and all the rest would be writing her, and she was beyond pissed that she wasn't getting them. Vega took the brunt of her wrath and managed to stay polite in the face of her ire. When a data pad appeared in her room one day, she sighed with relief that they had finally relented and given her access to her mail. When she flicked it on and saw only a simple text message, she froze as a myriad of furious emotions roared through her. Cerberus was simultaneously showing her that they could reach her in her restrictive confinement even as they made her the same offer they gave Kai. Freedom - for her loyalty.

A broken data pad was their answer. She clung to her faith that the Alliance would see reason before it was too late.

They didn't. They were caught by surprise, and civilians died by the millions.

She fought. She killed Reaper troops by the hundreds. She did everything she could to push back the tide only to be thwarted by Cerberus at every turn. When she learned of the coup attempt at the Citadel, she vowed to put an end to them.

Then she came face to face with Kai. This time, there was no ambiguity or sentimentality. They were enemies. Shepard readied herself to take him on, only to have Thane throw himself into the fray. She stared, shocked and horrified, with her heart in her throat as the man she loved took on her former best friend.

When Kai ran Thane through with his sword, he smiled cruelly at her before withdrawing and making his escape. Rage warred with despair as she ran to Thane's side.

Rage won, but in the end, it wasn't enough. Kai escaped, and Thane died, and her world turned to ash.

They met again at Thessia in the temple of Athame, and he taunted her. "You'll never be good enough to take me down, Jane, and you know it."

He stole their hopes, and he crushed her yet again. She lost her gun, her pride, and nearly her life in that temple. Over and over, Kai's cold, emotionless voice played in her head, dismissing her and all her efforts. According to the prothean VI, he was indoctrinated, but nothing would ever excuse the fact that he had killed Thane. For that, he would die.

There was a thread. So tiny at first that it seemed like nothing, like it would disappear, but she pushed her crew hard and herself harder. She almost had him on Horizon, but chose to save Miranda.

Chronos Station orbited a dying supergiant star. They went in fast and dark to catch the Illusive Man by surprise, but he was gone. Waiting in his place was Kai. She threw herself into the fight with single minded determination. "No gunship now, Kai," she taunted as she stripped his barrier and closed with him. To the side, his last Phantom fell to Garrus' sniper rifle

"I killed your filthy lover," he snarled as they vied for the upper hand. "I'll kill every one of those animals you call friend. Die knowing their deaths are on you, Jane."

"Like hell," she grunted as she caught him under the chin with an elbow strike.

She saw it in his movements. He was uncertain. He'd always had the upper hand when they fought before, but Thane had taught her how to counter his style of dirty fighting.

Two shots found a weak spot in his armor, and he fell to the ground, disbelief stark on his face. For her part, she stood stone faced as she watched him collapse. She sent Garrus to watch over EDI as the AI hacked the computer systems for information. Shepard claimed the Illusive Man's chair and brought up his information panel. She stared at it without seeing for a long moment before she shook off her melancholy and got to work.

She heard a sound that shouldn't be there. Quick as lightning, probabilities flashed through her mind along with multiple courses of action for each one. In blink of an eye, she chose the only one that would give even a fraction of solace to the fury raging inside her.

She waited and pretended she didn't hear, but she knew. In his heart, he had to have known as well. But there was no other way for it to end between them. Each one of their individual choices had led them to this point, where they were no longer friends but the bitterest of enemies. He wouldn't accept mercy, and she would never give it.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as her entire body tightened up in response to the threat. Judging the timing with impeccable precision, she whirled around just as his sword was plunging down toward her back. His blade shattered as she triggered her own omni blade. It sank into his ribs, and the only emotion she felt was a bitter joy. "That was for Thane, you son of a bitch!" she spat as she twisted the blade viciously before pulling it back out.

A horrid rasping gurgle sounded as more blood spilled from his lips. Kai fell to his knees then toppled over on the floor. "Look into the abyss, and the abyss looks back," she whispered and then looked over the Illusive Man's former throne room. "I'm coming for you next, you bastard, and I'm going to send you straight to hell."

  
  



End file.
